I found myself in a bind, consumed by anxiety, as I constantly checked for updates on my school schedule and the registration of my classes. Despite being accepted and receiving a timely response from the office—a blessing from God—I was stuck worrying about what could possibly be causing the delay. It felt like a hurdle had appeared after such smooth sailing. Then it dawned on me: life is full of challenges, and each one holds a lesson if we pay close attention.
The key is “attention”—not partial, but undivided attention. This requires being watchful, mindful, and alert in our actions, deeds, surroundings, and thoughts. We often want to control everything and for plans to unfold perfectly, but where’s the growth in that? Life’s unexpected twists and turns prepare us for the journey, ensuring we’re equipped for any trials we may face. God has already provided us with the tools we need—His Word. By meditating on it, we fortify our mind, body, soul, and spirit, making us prepared for life’s arrows and the schemes of the enemy.
It’s okay if things don’t go as planned. Trying to fix situations on our own strength can make matters worse or reveal that we lack control over the outcome. In this moment, I realized I couldn’t force the information to appear. Instead, I had to wait, pray, and stand on Philippians 4:6-7:
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
This waiting period reminds me of John 14:1-4 (NKJV), where Jesus reassures us:
“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.”
Just as I wait for my school schedule, uncertain of the exact timing, so too do we wait for Jesus’ return. Mark 13:32-37 (MSG) highlights this beautifully:
“But the exact day and hour? No one knows that, not even heaven’s angels, not even the Son. Only the Father. So, keep a sharp lookout, for you don’t know the timetable. It’s like a man who takes a trip, leaving home and putting his servants in charge, each assigned a task, and commanding the gatekeeper to stand watch. So, stay at your post, watching. You have no idea when the homeowner is returning, whether evening, midnight, cockcrow, or morning. You don’t want him showing up unannounced, with you asleep on the job. I say it to you, and I’m saying it to all: Stay at your post. Keep watch.”
This time of waiting is not meant for us to wither in worry or become distracted but to do the work assigned to us—meditating on God’s Word, following His commandments, living justly, showing mercy, and loving the Lord wholeheartedly.
Though I may not know the timetable for my classes—or for Jesus’ return—I trust that God will rectify every issue in His perfect timing. He will work things out in the best possible way, providing peace and rest in Him. As His children, we can be assured that He will never lead us astray but will always work to prosper us.
Let us remain watchful, prepared, and faithful, trusting in His timing and His plan.
Important note: Please read your Bible to grasp each scripture in its entirety fully. Do not just run with the scriptures I have stated in this message. I used these to corroborate and portray the message shared with you all. I am not a prophetess or pastor but just someone who wants to share this message as a follower of Christ.
Qualities of a person according to AI overview are characteristics that reflect a person’s identity.
To note there are positive and negative traits we can all identify and address within ourselves and others. This can be observed through interactions with persons which influence how we react towards them. If someone’s negative traits outweigh their positive it is a ‘red flag’ that they need to address, and it’s up to you to decide if that person should continue being a part of your life. We all have flaws that we need to be accountable for and be released from, with our Heavenly Father’s help. However, the negative traits that are so dire, deadly and dangerous would truly be a cause for concern leading to professional and spiritual aid. Therefore, we should always examine ourselves through scripture so that God can reveal any hidden traits that oppose his scriptures, and then lead Him to deliver us from those ungodly thoughts manifested in our actions.
Psalm 139:23-24 NIV “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
We should always strive to be our best selves and continue to portray traits that can be emulated, admired and praised giving God’s kingdom glory through our actions and deeds.
We all look for positive qualities in a friend, employee, employer, pastor, family member spouse etc., but some people can mask their negative qualities well, which is deceiving. You can know someone for years believing that what they portray on the surface is who they truly are but, within it is the complete opposite. I always used to see the best in others, brushing off certain signs or feelings and giving them the benefit of the doubt. This was out of naivety and a lack of discernment. Fast forward to years later in my late twenties having no friends by choice because of my heightened awareness, overthinking and paranoia which I am asking God to be freed from. This occurred through several bad experiences which opened my eyes to the darkness that lives in this world through people. I can attest once your eyes have been opened there is no going back.
“Woe to you, [self-righteous] scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which look beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. 28 So you, also, outwardly seem to be just and upright to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.Matthew 23: 27-28 AMP
This is not a declaration or permission to be suspicious of everyone because of a few bad experiences but, we should all practice the art of observation, listening and weighing certain actions or deeds against scripture. Eventually, sooner rather than later everything comes to light and surfaces, and the true individual behind the mask is revealed for all to see, which can take years and within that time you are unaware of the danger that they are to you. This is why having strong discernment is important and how can you get that? By being in the word of God consistently, through meditation and asking God to increase your discernment around everyone you encounter, ( family, long-time friends, acquaintances, new friends etc.). You should always ask God to reveal all deeply hidden motives and actions so that you will not be blindsided later on. We cannot trust anyone 100% only God because we are all human which means that we can be fickle and our inherent hearts wicked. This is hard to admit but true. That is why God is the only person who can receive 1000% trust and then some,. because though some things may seem as a personal attack or an instruction given may not make much sense, he will never lead us astray or want harm to come to us.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11NLT
“The heart is deceitful above all things And desperately wicked; Who can know it?I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings.” Jeremiah 17:9-10NKJV
Do not trust in a friend; Do not put your confidence in a companion; Guard the doors of your mouth From her who lies in your bosom.For a son dishonors his father, the daughter rises against her mother, daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; A man’s enemies are the men of his household. Therefore I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; My God will hear me. Micah 7:5-7 NKJV
“But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” Hebrews 5:14 NKJV
2 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrew 4:12 NKJV
“Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” John 7:24 NKJV
“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.Matthew 10:16 NKJV
In our season of waiting, we should prepare ourselves by praying for our future husband, examining ourselves through Godly scripture taking accountability for certain thoughts and actions, and asking God to refine us and mold us into being a close replica of Proverbs 31 woman.
God can also send the person while you are still struggling with certain desires and actions. It will not be the same for everyone that is why we should not look at other people’s stories and think that it might happen that way, and when it doesn’t it leads you to feel disappointment. Their testimonies are there to give you hope and to increase your belief and steadfastness. Believe this, God works in mysterious ways and his thoughts are higher than ours as well as his ways, so it is not for you or me to understand but to just trust in Him.
Side note: Marriage is not promised but it is something that we can all hope is God’s will for our lives, and that he blesses us with someone we can call our husband. However, that may not be what he has for some of us. He may have a bigger purpose for our lives other than marriage. Hearing this is quite difficult to digest especially if one’s desire to have a family ( husband and children) is strong but we all should consider that this can be a possibility for us. Therefore, it is up to the individual to choose whether to remain single and without children or disobey and pick someone to marry and have kids which will be a risk. Whatever consequences occur as a result of being disobedient to God’s plan and purpose is yours to endure and repent for.
Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right. Song of Solomon 2:7 NLT
The above scripture practically conveys not to force love but instead, it should be spontaneous, peaceful and filled with joy. Yes, there will be trials and tribulations at times, no one is perfect nor is there any relationship but the foundation and basis of it should be filled with love, joy and peace just to name a few and not constant strife, toxicity, abuse and infidelity. Anyone telling you that the latter can still be considered a loving relationship needs to reevaluate the meaning of love. That is why we should wait patiently for God to choose such a love for us rather than running the risk of choosing for ourselves and later having regrets or being the death of us.
My brief confession
I can attest to this, the waiting period is not easy. Sometimes it can lead “SOME” like myself to become desperate. When I say desperate, anyone who gives me a little attention I wonder if it’s “HIM”? and daydream about how our lives would be. I might even act a bit seductively unintentionally but it is intentional, it’s as if my mind thinks it, my body does it and I am not aware but aware. It’s confusing to me also. I often cringe at my actions at times up to this day because some are recent. It took months of solitude for God to change many things about me and I realized that it may look as if time is running out, but to God, it’s just the beginning, and there is no need to worry. I often look back on the few relationships I had and wonder what was I thinking, I should have just kept quiet, not been so curious never had any relations and kept my virginity intact to this day. That ship has sailed so I have committed myself to abstinence from sex and masturbation ( I will upload an abstinence blog soon). I am struggling with masturbation during my years of singleness thinking I was delivered but I allowed myself to fall into temptation over and over. It is a struggle being single at times especially when you see happy couples on social media, on television shows being the same age as you married with two children already, makes you wonder, why can’t I have that too? When would you send him Lord? We just have to remind ourselves that God’s plan for us will be revealed eventually and whatever is in store for us, he knows best, even if to us it doesn’t make sense.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11NLT
3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 3:1-4 NLT
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 ESV
Based on what was discussed previously about positive and negative qualities, we now move onto the main topic: what qualities should we look for in a godly spouse as women and sisters in Christ? The following qualities taken from scripture, are also what we should have within ourselves, especially if that is what we want in a Godly husband because he would cherish those same qualities in us as his future wife.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19 NIV (NOT HARSH)
But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11″3 NIV (HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD)
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 NIV (SUBMITS TO HIS WIFE)
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7 NIV (HONOURS HIS WIFE)
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 3:28 NIV (FAITHFUL IN MIND AND PHYSICALLY)
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9 NIV (FAITHFUL) – IMPORTANT!!!
Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. Matthew 7:20 NIV ( PRODUCES GOOD FRUIT EG. ACTIONS )
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 NIV ( ALWAYS PUT GOD FIRST)
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 NIV ( DIED TO OLD HABITS, A NEW PERSON)
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4 NIV PRACTICES PURITY)
Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:8 NIV ( PROVIDES FOR HIS FAMILY)
22 Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22 NIV ( TRIES TO REMAIN ON THE NARROW PATHAVOIDING )
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. Proverbs 31:11 NIV (TRUSTS HIS WIFE)
Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4 NIV (HAS PATIENCE)
6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble. James 4:6 NIV (HUMBLE)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 ( EMULATES THIS KIND OF LOVE)
I took it upon myself to make a list of some of the traits that should be present in a man of God. Please look for more qualities within the bible because there are more that can be added to this list. Always ask God to reveal the ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing” that appear to have said qualities but are counterfeit versions sent to distract, derail and deceive you from the person God has for you (who actually possesses most of these qualities or even surpasses them). Remember the devil also listens to your prayers so be aware, alert and watchful for all the signs that blatantly show you to not entertain further but wait. Do not allow desperation to cloud your judgement missing glaring “red flags” that says this is not the man God sent. How can you be better equipped to know whether or not God sent him? : Simply ask God to reveal it, meditate on God’s word and see if his fruits align with scripture, and practice patience. All will be revealed eventually.
Important note: Please read your Bible to fully grasp each scripture in its entirety. Do not just run with the scriptures I have stated in this message, I used these to corroborate and portray the message being shared with you all. I am not a prophetess or pastor but just someone who wants to share this message because this was also a part of my life. At some point, you are supposed to come to your senses and ask yourself “What am I doing?“
I will dissect this scripture to understand what these words fully mean. It is straightforward but why is the author saying “Blessed is the man who” and lays out exactly how it can be achieved in the following lines. Why would this make someone be considered blessed? This leads us to the verse “Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly” Who are the ungodly and why is it so important not to take counsel/advice from them?
The ungodly would be anyone who opposes and does the opposite of God’s words, teachings and law. This person is apart from God, their ways do not mirror his, and they constantly glorify themselves. An ungodly person is not just someone who does evil things to others and thinks evil thoughts, do not be mistaken, that is why I said anyone who opposes God such as constantly lying, gossiping, being envious of others, refusing to forgive, displaying arrogance and pride, being greedy or aimlessly partying and drinking without any care in the world, to name a few. Even if none of the above pertains to how you live your life, it still doesn’t mean you are not doing things that oppose God, that is why we must thoroughly examine ourselves asking God for his help to search us and reveal things about ourselves that don’t align with his teachings.
“Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart; Test me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, And lead me in an everlasting way.” Psalms 139:23-24 (AMP)
“But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment. 32 Nevertheless, when we are judged in this way by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be finally condemned with the world.” 1 Corinthian 11:31 NIV
21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Romans 1:21 NIV
Understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, 1 Timothy 1:9-10 ESV
Or do you not know that the unrighteous[b] will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,[c]10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9 ESV
Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind so that they do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. 1 Romans: 28 – 32 NIV
The above verses, paint a clear picture of who is considered ungodly according to the bible. This answers the other question, we should not take any advice from the ungodly because they will lead us to a path of destruction, do not let anyone tell you that you can do the above actions and be a follower of Christ. This is why this verse in the bible always seems to have a lot of people either incensed or afraid
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ Matthew 7:21-23 NKJV
but there is no need because if you truly want to follow Christ you have to “die to self ” every day and pick up your cross daily,
“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.” Roman 6 :4 NIV
“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with,[a] that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7 because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.” Roman 6 :6-7 NIV
“For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16: 25 NKJV
23 And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23 ESV
and when you don’t have the strength or discipline to do so call on Jesus he will gladly help.
Proverbs 1:10- 19 gives us an idea of what ungodly counsel is and serves as a warning to avoid it at all cost. Evil/ungodly counsel can be subtle or blatant, it can be given by a friend, neighbour, or even a family member ( the devil can use anyone to derail you from the right path) the devil’s only goal as stated in the bible is to kill, steal and destroy (“The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10 NIV” )and how does he accomplish this, by telling lies( he is the father of it), by telling half-truths all of which is his way to deceive you into thinking that the path he is leading you on is good and that there is no harm in it. The devil tried to deceive many in the bible but the two notable ones would be, when he was able to deceive Eve in Genesis, “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:4-5 NIV and his failed attempt to deceive Jesus in the desert not once but thrice. I hope you know that he will keep coming at you to see what you will do, whether you will fall into temptation or deny yourself standing firm, easier said than done but Jesus, setting a perfect example knew better. Therefore we should strive to be like the latter not the former.
Shun ungodly counsel
If the counsel you receive contradicts what the bible says, and thus encourages you to be lukewarm ( one foot in the world and one foot out) then I don’t know what bible they are reading but not the one I try to read daily. To be clear, I never said to “judge” someone because they are living a worldly life compared to yours which then leads you to feel the need to cut them off and shun them. This can occur only if you feel their influence would make you want to revert to your old habits, then that would be the best option according to the bible. The following verse always seems to be taken out of context.
29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right-hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Matthew 5:29-32 NIV
The purpose of this verse was meant to be as brutal and graphic as it is portrayed to cement the message even further, so if the following activities you are engaging in cause you sin ( a particular television show/social media) stop doing it or do a content cleanse. Of course, you would not gouge out your eye, if you do so it would defeat the purpose. I would say the same for the other line of the scripture if you are prone to doing certain things for example masturbation, deny yourself that few minutes of pleasure instead of leading yourself to eternal damnation due to selfishness. These examples were used to explain my point but in general, it is better to deny yourself “all worldly desires” such as wild parties and fornicating etc…. than lose out on everlasting life with God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. This was a perfect way to emphasize how dangerously living a life of sin is and why we should try to refrain from certain actions, words and thoughts. Remember to repent and ask for forgiveness. Well, we all fall short at some point but the true test is if you remain there or you decide to fight against your flesh, denying it which leads to further change.
We cannot escape the (ungodly) because we are in this world but do not accept their counsel/advice. However, through understanding and love, you can impart your advice to them with scriptures to corroborate what you say and how you live your life behind closed doors and in public which would influence them and plant the seed.
Important note, according to the bible you can judge each other but righteously not with self-righteousness and arrogance so that we can be other’s keepers being brothers and sisters in Christ, especially the ones who claim to be deep in their faith with God but are constantly falling short in secret/in public.
This leads us to the following scriptures :
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 NLT
“It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning.God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.” 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 NLT ( this scripture was placed here to show that you cannot serve two masters.
When reading Proverbs 3, I noticed how perfectly it aligns with Psalm 1 showing us what is meant by “Blessed is the man who” which is Proverbs 3: 13, ” Happy is the man who finds wisdom and the man who gains understanding.” which would be through godly guidance and fear of the LORD. Proverbs 9:10 NKVJ ” states that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding”. We are aware that Wisdom is the Key followed by understanding and knowledge. To prove further how important having wisdom is Proverbs 3: 19 NKJV says ” The Lord by wisdom founded the earth, By wisdom he established the heavens; By knowledge, the depths were broken up and clouds drop down the dew.”
What is meant by this next line in the scripture “Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful” Proverbs 1: 15 NKJV ” My son do not walk in the way with them, keep your foot from their path; for their feet run to evil and they make haste to shed blood.” This gives us imagery of what standing in the path of sinners means and why there is emphasis on avoiding it. The funny thing is we all know what is right from wrong and even if you don’t, you will eventually realise sooner rather than later when you are disciplined for it through a parent, teacher or the law of your country. However, some things are blatantly known as wrong for example, stealing and killing.
On the other hand, there is partying and drinking which is “fun” I know, I have been there (please see my blog on “examine yourself and repent!” and read my testimony.) I cannot relate to the following where people engage in sexual acts with many men ( as a women) and many women ( as a man) thinking that couldn’t possibly be a “bad thing”, technically not according to society and worldly thinking. “Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.” 1 Romans:32 NIV
I would like to think that morals would come into play preventing you from doing as such but who am I to tell you what to do? It is still frowned upon with regards to how many sexual partners a woman has as opposed to a man but to me, it should be the same for men. One sexual partner outside of marriage is a sin according to the bible but having 50 – 100 is just wild. I don’t even know that amount of people much less to lay with them. To be transparent, I had sex before marriage with four men ( too many), three were my then-boyfriends and one was an ex, but when it happened we were not together. I decided I would stay celibate until marriage and that is what I will continue to do. I am not saying I don’t have thoughts or feelings but I have to deny them for the greater good which is for myself, out of respect for my future husband and God because my body is his creation and a temple which should be respected. P.S. I will write a celibacy blog soon.
Society will tell you having sex is a way to express yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about the amount, or gender (male or female) continue to live your best life, that is all that matters. Sex before marriage is widely accepted as a “norm” encouraged according to today’s society and this generation. Marriage is no longer sacred because people get divorced over the sightliest inconvenience or proudly commit adultery and “some” wives are taking them back willingly..
Ungodly counsel will pressure you into doing it because everyone around you is and you don’t want to stand out or draw attention to yourself because you choose to be different. It’s okay to be unique, a “weirdo” in this sense or as the bible says set apart and that is what we should all strive to be and not mindless sheep following the “trend”.
“Do not enter the path of the wicked, And do not walk in the way of the wicked, Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on.’ Proverbs 4:14-15 NKJV
“Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones.” Proverbs 3: 7-8 NKJV
“Do not be envious of the oppressor and choose none of his ways; For the perverse person is an abomination to the Lord. But His secret counsel is with the upright” Proverbs 3: 31-32 NKJV
” Nor sit in the seat of the scornful” which in other words would be the ridiculers. The ones who do not believe in God, the Bible, the teachings and the law. They think it is fictional, and nonsense and can’t seem to comprehend why we follow the bible so religiously believing in its word and believing in its power. They are the ones who scoff at anyone who preaches God’s word and heavily debate it with their logic and theories trying to debunk what the word says. It is common sense to know not to be associated with such people in a literal and hypothetical sense of the word “sit” because then you would be considered a part of their beliefs by association. No one would know you are a follower of Christ unless they know you personally. Therefore be aware of the company you keep, and surround yourself with like-minded people who believe in what you believe which is in the Lord our Savior Jesus Christ. The more you are around them the more their theories and false narratives may start to appeal to your flesh making you question certain things and slowly pull away from the Lord, falling right back into a worldly life because it is the easier route. Some things in the bible are not meant for us to understand. That is why God said to lean not on your understanding which pertains to his words and your life and wherever it leads you, but know this, if it is God who is leading you, you can trust that guidance 100% because he will never cause us to stumble or lead us astray.
“Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths”
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
P.S. I am far from perfect. I was questioning God today about many things and my unanswered prayers. It has been a rough few days battling my thoughts which plague me with the what ifs, remembering things that make me cringe and mentally beating up myself for allowing my shyness to take over and lose out on opportunities. I had a mini panic attack today which I don’t get but I was so overwhelmed with sadness and emotions ( it is that time of the month, well it was by the time you read this). Even though that was the last thing I wanted to do, I just started to praise the Lord.
” Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV
Important note: Please read your bibles to fully grasp each scripture in its entirety. Do not just run with the scriptures I have stated in this message, I used these to corroborate and portray the message being shared with you all. I am not a prophetess or pastor but just someone who wants to share this message because this was also a part of my life. At some point you are supposed to come to your senses and ask yourself “what am I really doing?“
Isaiah 5: 11 – 12 “What sorrow for those who get up early in the morning looking for a drink of alcohol and spend long evenings drinking wine to make themselves flaming drunk. They furnish wine and lovely music at their grand parties— lyre and harp, tambourine and flute— but they never think about the LORD or notice what he is doing.
Ask yourself the following questions as a journal entry or just out loud.
What quality of life do these events bring forth ?
Does this type of lifestyle truly benefit you or is it just an immediate fix to an even bigger issue?
Why pile yourself with so much alcohol/drugs that would only lead to an addiction and major health problems sooner rather than later?
Does gratifying the flesh feel so good to you that you disregard the Lord and ignore his counsel?
Do you ever stop to think that you should be doing God’s will and not your will?
Do you remember this prayer :
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." Matthew 6 : 9-13.
So in everything we do, it must bring glory to the LORD. To bring glory to Him, would be to follow ALL of his teachings correctly. The word of God is more precious than gold, it is priceless. In other words, if it doesn't align with God's word or doesn't bring both Him and His kingdom glory we shouldn't be doing it. I know it is easier said than done, hence the reason why we can call on Jesus and the Holy Spirit to give us the strength to turn away from fleshly desires. Firstly, you must take full accountability for your actions, ask for forgiveness and repent. You have to truly make up your mind to want to stop acting out those ungodly desires. The urges would not cease overnight, it will be a battle but eventually they will no longer bring you joy.
"But if we evaluated and judged ourselves honestly [recognizing our shortcomings and correcting our behavior], we would not be judged. But when we [fall short and] are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined [by undergoing His correction] so that we will not be condemned [to eternal punishment] along with the world." 1 Corinthians 11 : 31 - 32 AMP
"When I kept silent, my bones grew old. Through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah" Psalm 32: 3-5 NKJV
"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." Galatians 5:16 NIV
"Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace." Romans 8: 5-7 NLT
This is why Jesus said : "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 NKJV
Therefore, what do you think about the continuation of the verse below in Isaiah 5:13-16 ?
Of course it doesn’t just pertain to drunkenness and wild parties, those were just the highlighted ones in this verse.
Isaiah 5:13 -16 “So my people will go into exile far away because they do not know me. Those who are great and honored will starve, and the common people will die of thirst. The grave is licking its lips in anticipation, opening its mouth wide. The great and the lowly and all the drunken mob will be swallowed up. Humanity will be destroyed, and people brought down; even the arrogant will lower their eyes in humiliation. But the LORD of Heaven’s Armies will be exalted by his justice. The holiness of God will be displayed by his righteousness.”
This should be considered as a WARNING and not to be take lightly even though it is from the Old Testament and we are under the New Testament. These are not fairytales or just history lessons. NO! please do not be mistaken.
Psalm 103:10 “he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” We ALL should be so grateful and thankful that we have his grace and mercy!!
How can we forget JESUS ? who sacrificed himself for us all so that we wouldn’t have to bear the burden of our sins or face God’s wrath.
“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he makes sinners right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.” Romans 3: 23-26 NLT
However, his sacrifice is not to be taken for granted or seen as a ticket to sin. If you persist and refuse to heed the warnings, it will no longer cover those sins if you deliberately continue after receiving the knowledge of truth.
‘Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit.” Psalm 32 : 1 -2 NKJV
“Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins. There is only the terrible expectation of God’s judgment and the raging fire that will consume his enemies.” Hebrews 10:26-27 NLT
God’s judgement can be in any form so if you ‘know’ and refuse to obey then accept the punishment like a champ, whatever or however it may present itself.
Which leads us to the following verses below :
“It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning.God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.” 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 NLT ( this scripture was placed here to show that you cannot serve two masters. I will discuss this in another post. When it says judge, it means righteously not based on your self righteousness and arrogance. This is basically being my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper and the same should be reciprocated for you too because you care for each other’s well-being.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17 NIV
“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?” Luke 6:46 NIV.
“And a servant who knows what the master wants, but isn’t prepared and doesn’t carry out those instructions, will be severely punished. But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” Luke 12: 47-48 NLT
God does not tolerate disobedience. Do not be fooled by his silence or a lack of consequence, feeling comfortable and confident to carry out your worldly desires thinking that judgement would not come upon you suddenly when you refuse to obey. By continuing to sin and having no regard for the price that Jesus paid for us all, then why should it cover your sins? You are basically saying that Jesus’s sacrifice was in vain.
What sorrow for those who drag their sins behind them with ropes made of lies, who drag wickedness behind them like a cart! They even mock God and say, “Hurry up and do something! We want to see what you can do. Let the Holy One of Israel carry out his plan, for we want to know what it is.” Isaiah 5 :18-19 NLT
How long, O you sons of men, will you turn my glory to shame? How long will you love worthlessness and seek falsehood? Psalm 4 : 2 NKJV
“What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means!” Romans 6:15 NIV
The above scripture does give you much to think about. I would suggest that you meditate on the full verse in Isaiah 5 : 11 -16, whether or not it applies to you or how you live your life or maybe it applies to someone you know. We are all in this together dealing with some type of struggle, either addiction, sexual immorality, lying, unforgiveness or greed just to name a few. That is why we need to examine ourselves thoroughly with the Lord’s help, of course.
Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!Psalms 32 :1-2 NLT
“The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.” Psalm 32 : 8-11 NLT
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139 : 23 NIV
My brief testimony
I repented for all of this and turned away from this life. I have no desire to engage in such activities anymore. Praise the Lord!
I used to go clubbing ever so often and would sometimes wear revealing clothing to feel more desired or to capture the male gaze. I would drink to get myself drunk, boast about how secular music spoke to my spirit, which would invoke a sexual spirit within me causing me to dance very provocatively, which is a part my culture (wining).I felt really proud to be gyrating without even paying the Lord any mind. I barely prayed back then, it was a sporadic occurrence. However, during Covid it was such a scary time for everyone being restricted to the point that it felt like imprisonment in your homes and always having to wear masks. That really put things into perspective making me realize I took a lot of things in life for granted, my life, my health and my freedom to go wherever I wanted. There was always a lingering fear building up and I am sure a lot of people felt the same way when the news would give an update. However, before 2020, many times after clubbing I would feel ashamed of myself and how I acted. Of course that would be when I could recall it, if I wasn’t in a drunken stupor. Therefore the shame was tangible, but the lure of it and how I felt in those moments was so much greater than the shame, that I continued. There were times I was groped in the club without consent, and someone even tried to kiss me while drunk, but my friend at that time stopped him, which I am thankful for. I know in settings like that people would say “well then what do you expect would happen” but still it doesn’t justify it unless it was allowed. One time I went with my ex-boyfriend and I drank to the point that I could not remember anything, and to this day it is still blank, he told me parts of what happened, which were true or not I do not know. Those times felt like a drug and an addiction, because in that small window from night to the wee hours of the morning it would feel electrifying, as if all your worries and cares would melt away, and for that time frame nothing else mattered but how I felt in that moment. However, when that was all over and back to reality, I would so badly crave to be in that state again. Let me be clear I was not an alcoholic. I would only drink when I went clubbing which was not as often as I may have made it seem. I started to feel empty before the rise of Covid like I was missing something and I wasn’t sure what, then Covid hit and it all made sense. What I needed was to accept Jesus in my life and follow his counsel, to change my thought patterns, my ways and actions and utilize that time of solitude to examine and reflect. I even “ghosted” my friends who were a part of that lifestyle. I know I handled it poorly but I needed to do that in order to avoid outside distractions. I then upgraded to being lukewarm , but I thought if I just discontinued clubbing and drinking and distanced myself from everyone that I was truly a follower .I was so wrong and deceived. A word of advice, it takes years to fully strip yourself of ungodly desires that have been a part of your life for so long, to then live a life pleasing to Christ. Mistakes would be made along the way, temptation would come and many times you would take the bait when you know you shouldn’t. That still isn’t an excuse to keep doing it and using God’s grace and mercy through Jesus’ sacrifice as a shield, or to justify why you can’t stop. I will also admit I wanted to go back to that life when I made new friends, thinking maybe one more time wouldn’t hurt. I was wrong, you are only doing yourself an injustice, showing God the world is better than him and also confusing others who thought you gave up that lifestyle. You cannot serve two masters, you have to pick one. It all begins with that one decision to change.
I am currently without friends and I am honestly okay with it. I really thought it was of great importance to have many but until God sends the right friendships my way I will not murmur.
P.S I will always share my testimony pertaining to the topic I am writing about and if not, I will try to give a little advice regarding my journey as well which isn’t perfect. I made some mistakes along this journey that I am not proud off, leading me to question my mental state and finding it in me to forgive myself and others. Do not let anyone deceive you!! This walk is not easy, there are many fulfilling moments, breakthroughs, answered prayers and experiencing God’s love, but there is also spiritual warfare as well. Despite all of that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit is worth all what we have to go through here on earth because we are all running the race to gain everlasting life and heavenly treasures when entering God’s rest.
God loves you and it doesn’t matter how terrible your sins may be, God is waiting for you with open arms to return to him, so remember to hold yourself accountable, forgive yourself, remove the shame and guilt and sincerely ask God for forgiveness. Do not ever let anyone make you think that your sin is too great to be forgiven.
Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” Matthew 3 : 2 NKJV
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 NLT
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 NLT
