Important note: Please read your Bible to grasp each scripture in its entirety fully. Do not just run with the scriptures I have stated in this message. I used these to corroborate and portray the message shared with you all. I am not a prophetess or pastor but just someone who wants to share this message as a follower of Christ.

Qualities of a person according to AI overview are characteristics that reflect a person’s identity. 

To note there are positive and negative traits we can all identify and address within ourselves and others. This can be observed through interactions with persons which influence how we react towards them. If someone’s negative traits outweigh their positive it is a ‘red flag’ that they need to address, and it’s up to you to decide if that person should continue being a part of your life. We all have flaws that we need to be accountable for and be released from, with our Heavenly Father’s help. However, the negative traits that are so dire, deadly and dangerous would truly be a cause for concern leading to professional and spiritual aid. Therefore, we should always examine ourselves through scripture so that God can reveal any hidden traits that oppose his scriptures, and then lead Him to deliver us from those ungodly thoughts manifested in our actions.

Psalm 139:23-24 NIV “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

We should always strive to be our best selves and continue to portray traits that can be emulated, admired and praised giving God’s kingdom glory through our actions and deeds.

We all look for positive qualities in a friend, employee, employer, pastor, family member spouse etc., but some people can mask their negative qualities well, which is deceiving. You can know someone for years believing that what they portray on the surface is who they truly are but, within it is the complete opposite. I always used to see the best in others, brushing off certain signs or feelings and giving them the benefit of the doubt. This was out of naivety and a lack of discernment. Fast forward to years later in my late twenties having no friends by choice because of my heightened awareness, overthinking and paranoia which I am asking God to be freed from. This occurred through several bad experiences which opened my eyes to the darkness that lives in this world through people. I can attest once your eyes have been opened there is no going back.

“Woe to you, [self-righteous] scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which look beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. ²⁸ So you, also, outwardly seem to be just and upright to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. Matthew 23: 27-28 AMP

This is not a declaration or permission to be suspicious of everyone because of a few bad experiences but, we should all practice the art of observation, listening and weighing certain actions or deeds against scripture. Eventually, sooner rather than later everything comes to light and surfaces, and the true individual behind the mask is revealed for all to see, which can take years and within that time you are unaware of the danger that they are to you. This is why having strong discernment is important and how can you get that? By being in the word of God consistently, through meditation and asking God to increase your discernment around everyone you encounter, ( family, long-time friends, acquaintances, new friends etc.). You should always ask God to reveal all deeply hidden motives and actions so that you will not be blindsided later on. We cannot trust anyone 100% only God because we are all human which means that we can be fickle and our inherent hearts wicked. This is hard to admit but true. That is why God is the only person who can receive 1000% trust and then some,. because though some things may seem as a personal attack or an instruction given may not make much sense, he will never lead us astray or want harm to come to us.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

“The heart is deceitful above all things And desperately wicked;
Who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart,
I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways,
According to the fruit of his doings.” Jeremiah 17:9-10 NKJV

Do not trust in a friend; Do not put your confidence in a companion; Guard the doors of your mouth From her who lies in your bosom.  For a son dishonors his father, the daughter rises against her mother, daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; A man’s enemies are the men of his household. Therefore I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; My God will hear me. Micah 7:5-7 NKJV

“ But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” Hebrews 5:14 NKJV

² For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrew 4:12 NKJV

“Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” John 7:24 NKJV

 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Matthew 10:16 NKJV

In our season of waiting, we should prepare ourselves by praying for our future husband, examining ourselves through Godly scripture taking accountability for certain thoughts and actions, and asking God to refine us and mold us into being a close replica of Proverbs 31 woman.

God can also send the person while you are still struggling with certain desires and actions. It will not be the same for everyone that is why we should not look at other people’s stories and think that it might happen that way, and when it doesn’t it leads you to feel disappointment. Their testimonies are there to give you hope and to increase your belief and steadfastness. Believe this, God works in mysterious ways and his thoughts are higher than ours as well as his ways, so it is not for you or me to understand but to just trust in Him.

Side note: Marriage is not promised but it is something that we can all hope is God’s will for our lives, and that he blesses us with someone we can call our husband. However, that may not be what he has for some of us. He may have a bigger purpose for our lives other than marriage. Hearing this is quite difficult to digest especially if one’s desire to have a family ( husband and children) is strong but we all should consider that this can be a possibility for us. Therefore, it is up to the individual to choose whether to remain single and without children or disobey and pick someone to marry and have kids which will be a risk. Whatever consequences occur as a result of being disobedient to God’s plan and purpose is yours to endure and repent for.

 Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right. Song of Solomon 2:7 NLT

The above scripture practically conveys not to force love but instead, it should be spontaneous, peaceful and filled with joy. Yes, there will be trials and tribulations at times, no one is perfect nor is there any relationship but the foundation and basis of it should be filled with love, joy and peace just to name a few and not constant strife, toxicity, abuse and infidelity. Anyone telling you that the latter can still be considered a loving relationship needs to reevaluate the meaning of love. That is why we should wait patiently for God to choose such a love for us rather than running the risk of choosing for ourselves and later having regrets or being the death of us.

My brief confession

I can attest to this, the waiting period is not easy. Sometimes it can lead “SOME” like myself to become desperate. When I say desperate, anyone who gives me a little attention I wonder if it’s “HIM”? and daydream about how our lives would be. I might even act a bit seductively unintentionally but it is intentional, it’s as if my mind thinks it, my body does it and I am not aware but aware. It’s confusing to me also. I often cringe at my actions at times up to this day because some are recent. It took months of solitude for God to change many things about me and I realized that it may look as if time is running out, but to God, it’s just the beginning, and there is no need to worry. I often look back on the few relationships I had and wonder what was I thinking, I should have just kept quiet, not been so curious never had any relations and kept my virginity intact to this day. That ship has sailed so I have committed myself to abstinence from sex and masturbation ( I will upload an abstinence blog soon). I am struggling with masturbation during my years of singleness thinking I was delivered but I allowed myself to fall into temptation over and over. It is a struggle being single at times especially when you see happy couples on social media, on television shows being the same age as you married with two children already, makes you wonder, why can’t I have that too? When would you send him Lord? We just have to remind ourselves that God’s plan for us will be revealed eventually and whatever is in store for us, he knows best, even if to us it doesn’t make sense.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 3:1-4 NLT

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways  and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT

⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 ESV

Based on what was discussed previously about positive and negative qualities, we now move onto the main topic: what qualities should we look for in a godly spouse as women and sisters in Christ? The following qualities taken from scripture, are also what we should have within ourselves, especially if that is what we want in a Godly husband because he would cherish those same qualities in us as his future wife.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19 NIV (NOT HARSH)

But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,^[a] and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11″3 NIV (HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD)

 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 NIV (SUBMITS TO HIS WIFE)

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7 NIV (HONOURS HIS WIFE)

 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 3:28 NIV (FAITHFUL IN MIND AND PHYSICALLY)

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9 NIV (FAITHFUL) – IMPORTANT!!!

Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. Matthew 7:20 NIV ( PRODUCES GOOD FRUIT EG. ACTIONS )

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 NIV ( ALWAYS PUT GOD FIRST)

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 NIV ( DIED TO OLD HABITS, A NEW PERSON)

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4 NIV PRACTICES PURITY)

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:8 NIV ( PROVIDES FOR HIS FAMILY)

²² Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22 NIV ( TRIES TO REMAIN ON THE NARROW PATHAVOIDING )

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. Proverbs 31:11 NIV (TRUSTS HIS WIFE)

Not only so, but we^[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4 NIV (HAS PATIENCE)

⁶ But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble. James 4:6 NIV (HUMBLE)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 ( EMULATES THIS KIND OF LOVE)

I took it upon myself to make a list of some of the traits that should be present in a man of God. Please look for more qualities within the bible because there are more that can be added to this list. Always ask God to reveal the ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing” that appear to have said qualities but are counterfeit versions sent to distract, derail and deceive you from the person God has for you (who actually possesses most of these qualities or even surpasses them). Remember the devil also listens to your prayers so be aware, alert and watchful for all the signs that blatantly show you to not entertain further but wait. Do not allow desperation to cloud your judgement missing glaring “red flags” that says this is not the man God sent. How can you be better equipped to know whether or not God sent him? : Simply ask God to reveal it, meditate on God’s word and see if his fruits align with scripture, and practice patience. All will be revealed eventually.